Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The French Boy

A few years ago I reluctantly took my boy on a family vacation.  My reluctance was not the trip itself; a gift of a week long vacation in a gorgeous rental home overlooking the ocean in beautiful Victoria B.C. was wonderful.  My reluctance was wondering how this trip would work out:  change of routine, long car trip, ferry ride, going thru customs, sleeping in a strange house full of breakable objects, extended family having to deal with the difficulties of Fragile X that I was more comfortable keeping within the confines of my own home.  But common sense aside, away we went......
The trip was as I expected, stressful.  The boys routine completely blown, sleeping on the couch off the study where he was sleeping, worrying about something getting broken.  One day, in an attempt to escape the house for awhile we went to a nearby park.  In the park their was a water fountain, with water that sprayed out of the pavement for the children to run through.  He was thrilled, he loves water fountains, and this was the perfect set up for him.  I sat on the bench and watched him play, thankful for the peace.  Alongside him were a handful of other children.  Two little girls, a few years older were nearby my son.  These typical giggling little girls loved the fountain, but did not want to push the button that started the sprayers because they didn't want to get too wet.  They decided the boy should be the one to push the button (it was quite obvious at this point that he didn't mind getting wet) and approached him with their proposition.  I felt myself tense up, I was very familiar with how this was going to play out.....they would try to engage him, realize he was "different" and that was usually the end of that.  Until this point I had never seen him actually play with other children.  The girls approached, and plead their case to my son, "Will you go push the button for us"?  I held by breath, and then heard the expected non-verbal happy babbling that was his response.  I watched the girls faces for their reaction, ready as always to jump in like a mama lion, explain his inability to speak,  defend him from any teasing etc etc.  But instead I heard more giggling, "He speaks French"  more giggling, then they grabbed my sons hand and walked him closer to the button, mimicked pushing it, and much to their delight he complied, over and over and over.  His love of water and repetition was really working in every one's favor!
I watched with tears in my eyes as he played for the first time with other children in this magic fountain.  The water seemed to wash away his inhibitions.  The water also washed away the telltale wetness of his shirt collar that usually alerted the other children to his "differences".  And bless you bi-lingual Canada for taking away the perceived "language' barrier. 
Looking back I realize that nothing "magic" happened here.  The fountain didn't change anything about my son, it only changed others perception of him.  I wish I could put this magic filter on the world all of the time.....

Nature Boy- Nat King Cole

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he

And then one day
A magic day he came my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

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