Breath of Heaven, hold me together.....

Christmas Eve morning, I am spending the day with last minute preparations for Christmas, a few batches of chex mix to make, presents to wrap, then Christmas Eve service tonight at church.

 

As I begin working in the kitchen a line of a song on the Christmas CD playing in the next room takes my breath away....

 

"Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?"

 

WHAM, a Christmas song just slapped me in the face with my biggest unspoken fear,  am I good enough for this role in life I have fallen into?

 

• Being mom to a special needs child feels completely overwhelming, and I daily I want to quit.  The guilt of that is almost impossible to type.  But also brings me unspeakable joy daily, so much joy that I would die for it.  I wonder how Mary felt.

So God tells Mary that she, a young unmarried woman is going to give birth to the son of God.  I'd like to think that her first uncensored reaction was "Holy S*^#!  (I know, I know, I am a terrible pastors wife, but I warned you when I started this blog that it would be well, raw)  Anyway, that was my reaction too.  Like Mary, over time it seemed to morph into a do-able thing.   

 

....but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.......

 

"I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now"

 

So Mary was like me, keeps it inside and thinks about it often,  I wonder is she obsessed about it at night like I do?  Worried about how it would affect her other children, how she would be able to possibly be knowledgeable enough, would her and Joseph ever get any "alone time"???

"...hold me together...lighten my darkness...help me be strong...help me be....help me..."

Maybe after some sleep and renewed strength, Mary, like me faced the next day a little stronger.

"But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong"

Mary's story brings me peace this Christmas Eve.  It gives me faith that  if she could do it, I can do it.....a sisterhood of girls who have doubts about the tasks God has entrusted them with....but are willing to go the distance.....not knowing what the future holds.....

Merry Christmas to the Sisterhood!!



Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)  Amy Grant

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven,hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven